Family Straight

I would like to thank the lord for what he has done for me and my family within my lifetime. Most dont know what i have been thru becuz i chose to smile thru the rain knowing that god would keep me on the straight path and that he would make things better in due time! And he has i mean im not suppose to be in a stable mind from the shit that i have gone thru but i am and the struggles only made me stronger than what i was! I mean just look my father used to be an alcoholic and constantly fight with me and my mother when i was younger he also was a major substance trafficer now he has quit that my father hasnt drank in a year in a half! Thanks to the lord! my father only served 4months in jail away from me! Thats better than some who only slanged a few dime bags or so! And take my mother for instance she has had plenty of chances to break up the family and have me and my brothers grow up almost fatherless but she is a strong woman and family comes first in her eyes. and i thank the lord for giving me a woman in my life like that! my father even went far as having a woman outside their marriage and still my mother kept us together and accepted my lil brother in the family within the family with no hesistance now that was a blessing i often feel like my mother is a saint now that i realize waht i went thru sometime i feel that i aint suppose to be here cuz i often think i should have been out on the streets or even worse but im not so for that i thank the lord! And now im Happy That my FAMILY STRAIGHT!

Who Knows!!

You know it is often said that everything happens for a reason but who knows? I feel that i have encountered some females and often feel they are the one but, who knows? I often feel that you just have to make things happen to know and not wonder who knows? I mean God plans everything in your life and its up to you to make the best of it and i have tried the best i could all thru my life to make the best of these situations but to truely know i will have to wait and see! Cuz when i think to myself who knows everyone should know the answer God knows!!!

Love

Love!! what is it? most think that love is this feeling that you have for this person, but in actuality love is a verb and not a noun cuz love is not a thing but in actuality love is an action that is a continous process until you cease to do that action. The true meaning of love is "giving one person the ability to hurt you but, trusting them enough not to do that." Now ask yourself have you ever been truely in love or not. I have once and i was hurt but i was in love. There are the different ways to use love. You can have love for one which basically means that you have strong feelings and that you thinkin bout giving them that ability. You can also love someone which means you have made that decision to give that one person that ability. Then there is the In love thing which means you are fully committed and completely trust that person not to hurt you when really they can easily manipulate you mind body and soul! So before letting that L-word slip out of you mouth again think about what i just told you!

To the One I want

This goes out to the young woman I have wanted since i laid my eyes on her. She is just an amazing female from my point of view there is not much that i wouldnt do just for her. Now i may not be able to give her everything, well i know i cant but she can have anything that i got. I mean i know she may think that im jus like every other guy but im not and she often sees me with other females but they dont mean not a thing to me and thats real! And if i gotta disown every other chick to get her then thats what i will do cuz my heart tells me she is a great one for me! I just have to prove it to her! She knows who she is (m.s.)

For my Parents

I would jus like to say that i have much respect and love for my parents who have always backed me no matter what. I love them so much. They have always put me in a position to succeed and jus make it throughtout life. And for that i jus want the world to know about the spectacular people that God put in my life! Thanks to Chris and Sherrrell Turner =)

Mississippi is a Trap

HAVE YALL EVA THOUGHT OR FELT LIKE YALL NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA MISSISSIPPI? WELL I FEEL LIKE THAT ALL THE FUCKIN TIME I MEAN HELL MISSISSIPPI IS NOT WHERE MY HEART IS..... I WONDER SOMETIME HOW IN THE HELL DID MY FAMILY CHOOSE MISSISSIPPI OUTTA ALL THE PLACES IN THE WORLD I MEAN FROM THE PEOPLE TO THE BORIN ASS PLACES THIS PLACE IS FUCKIN WACK YA KNOW..... I CANT WAIT TIL I GRADUATE IMMA GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE NO MATTA WHERE I GO LONG AS IT AINT IN MISSISSIPPI..... I MEAN I REALLY TRULY WANNA RETURN TO THE JIG (BATON ROUGE) AKA MY HOME TOWN.... THATS WHERE MY HEART IS AND YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE SAY HOME IS WHERE YO HEART IS SO I GOTTA GET OUTTA THIS HELL HOLE OF A PLACE.......

How to hide pain behind a smile

HOW DO YOU HIDE PAIN BEHIND A SIMPLE SMILE? WELL HONESTLY I DONT KNOWBUT EVERYDAY I CONTINUE TO DO THE SAME THINGAND I WONDER TO MYSELF DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY CARE?OR CAN THEY JUS NOT TELL HOW I FEEL?I MEAN SOMETIMES I JUS WANNA SNAP ON MY FRIENDSCUZ I SMILE BUT I WANT THEM TO REALLY ASK AM I OKAY,I JUS WANT SOMEONE TO REALIZE THAT ON THE INSIDE IM DYINGBUT I DONT WANT IT TO SHOW!MY PAIIN IS OVERWHELMINGAND IT OFTEN STRIKES LIKE A THIEF WALKIN THRU A OPEN DOOR AT NIGHTI OFTEN ASK MYSELF TO JUS EXPRESS MYSELF BUT MY PRIDE DOESNT ALLOW ME TO DO SO,SO DAY IN AND DAY OUT I HIDE MY PAIN BEHIND A SMILE SOMEDAYS I JUS WANNA CRY BUT I JUS SMILEBUT REALLY I WANNA DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE,I KNOW IT MAY APPEAR THAT IM JUS THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVEBUT REALLY IM SLOWLY DYIN AND DRIFTING AWAY INSIDE I JUS WISH SOMEONE COULD REALIZE MY PAIN!!AND JUS TAKE IT AWAY BUT IT DONT WORK LIKE THAT,SO I JUS CONTINUE TO BURY MY SORROW BEHIND A SMILE A SIMPLE DECIEVING NON-CHALANT SMILE SO I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW DO YOU HIDE PAIN BEHIND A SMILE?

Is this it?

WELL WHATS UP MY PEEPS JUS WRITIN TO GET A COUPLE OF ANSWERS.... WELL HERE IT IS THERE IS THIS GIRL THAT I MET BOUT MAYBE YEAR AND A HALF AGO. RIGHT OFF THE BACK WE GOT WELL AQUAINTED JUS LAUGHING CHILLIN HAVING A GOOD TIME SHE IS AND WAS A GREAT FRIEND WE TALKED BOUT EACH OTHERS CHILDHOODS AND EVERYTHING I MEAN I FELT AS IF SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I MEAN A DAY WITHOUT TALKIN TO HER WASNT REALLY A DAY FOR ME. SHE HAD THIS ATTRACTION THAT ANY MAN, BOY, OR WHATEVER WOULD DIE FOR SHE WAS AND STILL IS GORGEOUS AS TIMES WENT ON WE GREW CLOSER LIKE NEVER BEFORE. BUT AS TIME WENT BY MORE I WANTED TO ACTUALLY TALK TO HER AND NOT BE FRIENDS ANYMORE BUT THAT WAS UNABLE TO HAPPEN DUE TO OUR DISTANCE APART. BUT AS TIMES WENT ON SHE BEGAN TO GO THRU THINGS AND THE LESS WE TALKED I DIDNT FEEL RIGHT AT ALL NOTHIN FELT RIGHT DURING THESE TIMES I FELT LIKE SHE DIDNT NEED ME ANYMORE OR MAYBE SHE DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE DURING THESE TIMES USUALLY CALLED HER MAYBE ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS TO SEE IF SHE WOULD POSSIBLY ANSWER OR RETURN MY CALL BUT THERE WAS NO ANSWER I BEGAN TO THINK WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS TO ME? I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WE WERE SO COOL THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE JUS STOPPED TALKIN TO ME... BUT ROUND CHRISTMAS TIME I DECIDED TO WRITE HER A MESSAGE ON MYSPACE AND SHE RESPONDED SHE SAID SHE HAD TRIED TO TEXT ME A FEW TIMES BUT I DIDNT HAVE TEXT I EXPLAINED TO HER AND WE STARTED BACK TALKIN LIKE OLD TIMES I FELT WHOLE AGAIN.... WE HAVE TALKED BOUT EVERYTHING WE EVEN FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE THINKIN BOUT GOIN TO THE SAME COINSIDENTLY I TALK TO HER ALMOST EVERY NIGHT I ACTUALLY LOVE HER I MEAN IM NOT IN LOVE BUT I HAVE LOVE FOR HER. LATELY I BEEN WONDERIN AND THINKIN THAT THIS GIRL IS SO GREAT SHE IS GORGEOUS INTELLIGENT HAS COMMON SENSE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR EVERYTHING I LOOK FOR IN A WOMAN AND I CANT HELP BUT TO SAY "I DONT WANNA LET HER GET AWAY" I MEAN I WOMAN THIS PERFECT MUST BE WIFEY MATERIAL AND I CANT GET THAT OUT OF MY MIND CUZ I BELIEVE SHE IS.. WE EVEN SPOKE ON THAT AND HAVE THE SAME POINT OF VIEW ON THAT. I GO TO COLLEGE IN FALL AND SHE INTENDS ON COMIN THERE THE FOLLOWING FALL DURIN OUR YEARS THERE I WANT TO SEE HOW IT FAIRS BETWEEN US TWO. I THINK THESE TIMES WILL GO PERFECTLY AND I WAS WONDERING WHEN WE BOTH GRADUATE AND ALL SHOULD I PURSUE HER AND MAYBE BECOME HER HUSBAND AND SHE MY WIFEY? I REALLY WANT SOMEONES OPINION I THINK IT WOULD WORK OUT PERFECTLY AND I THINK SHE DOES TOO. WHAT SHOULD WE DO? SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!!!!

Jus not good enough

HAVE YOU EVER DON SO MUCH TO MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU BUT YOUR ACTIONS WENT IN VAIN CUZ THE PERSON HAD BEEN HURT SO MUCH THEY DIDNT WANT TO TRUST OR BELIEVE ANYBODY? WELL I HAVE AND IM EMOTIONALLY DRAINED FROM TRYIN TO CONVENCE THIS PERSON THAT IM WHERE THEY NEED TO BE I MEAN I WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE THIS PERSON LOVE ME BELIEVE ME AND PROVE TO THEM I WOULDNT HURT HER BUT IM TO THE POINT WHERE I THINK MY BEST ISNT GOOD ENOUGH NO MATTER WHAT I DO I FEEL UNAPPRECIATED NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL THE THING IS I DO FOR THE HER ITS LIKE I HAVENT DON ANYTHING I TRUELY LOVE THAT PERSON BUT SHE DONT BELIEVE ME HELL SHE SAID WORDS DONT MEAN SHIT TO HER BUT I DONT PLAY WITH THAT LOVE WORD NOW IM NOT SAYIN SHE IS MY WORLD OR THAT I CANT DO WITHOUT HER BUT I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE FOREVER AND NOT AS A FRIEND BUT CHASIN SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL NEVER CATCH IS IRRATIONAL I GUESS I WAS TO BUSY SHOOTING FOR THE STAR THAT SHINED THE BRIGHTEST MISSIN OUT ON THE STARS THAT MY BULLET TOUCHED I HATE TO STOP IMMA RIDE IT OUT FOR A LIL LONGER BUT HOW MUCH MORE DOES IT TAKE FOR A PERSON TO LEAVE? ITS SO CRAZY TO ME WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT THEY WANT THE 1!!!! BUT WHEN THAT 1!!! IS IN THEIR FACE THEY DONT PULL THAT PERSON IN!!!! SHE SAYS AT TIMES IF YOU WANNA LEAVE JUS LIKE THE OTHERS THEN GO AHEAD I HATE THAT CUZ SHE COMPARING ME TO THE ONES WHO KEEP HER FROM LOVING NOW IM NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE IM QUINCY AND I WILL STAY QUINCY AND I HAVE NOT CHANGED FROM THE FIRST TIME SHE TALKED TO ME BUT CAN I SAY THE SAME?

Why should i change?

LATELY I BEEN THINKIN THAT MAYBE ITS TIME FOR ME TO SWITCH A FEW THINGS UP AND JUST CHANGE..... FOR ME AND FOR OTHERS BUT NOW THAT I CAN SEE PAST WHAT I WANTED AND REALLY LOK AT THE PICTURE WHY SHOULD I CHANGE? WHY SHOULD I PLAY THE FOOL? I MEAN THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HOW I DO THINGS I DONT THINK I MEAN IM TRIED OF BEING IN A DIFFERENT FEMALE FACE EVERY 5 MINUTES BUT THEN AGAIN IM JUS CONVERSING AND SEE THE PEOPLE WHO I CHOSE TO CHANGE FOR DIDNT RESPECT MY CHANGE WHEN THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE SUGGESTING THAT I SHOULD CHANGE.... I MEAN THEY TOLD ME ONE THING AND DID ANOTHER AND NOW I REALLY WONDER IS THAT WHAT I REALLY WANT? TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS SOMEWHAT CONFUSED AND HAS LIFE MISCONSCEWED (MIXED UP) I MEAN I USED TO BE LOST FOR WORDS JUS FOR THE SIGHT OF HER BUT NOW I SEE WITH MY OWN EYES WHAT OTHERS WHERE TELLING ME..... AND NOW IM JUST THINKIN SHOULD I REALLY CHANGE IS THIS WHAT I WANT OR SHOULD I GO BACK TO THE BASICS AND DOING QUINCY AND STAYING QUINCY? I MEAN I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND THATS DIFFUCULT AT THIS POINT AND TIME CUZ I DONT THINK I HAVE FOUND WHAT IM LOOKIN FOR WILL I EVER FIND WHAT IM LOOKIN FOR? OR JUS HAVE TO SETTLE FOR ONE WITH FLAWS? I GUESS I JUS GOT TO ANALYZE AND REVIEW CUZ WITH BLIND EYES SHE SEEMED PERFECT BUT WITH ME LOOKIN AT HER WITH THE NU ME AND WITH NU EYES SHE LOOKS DIFFERENT..... IMMA FIGURE IT OUT I GUESS...... HOPE FOR THE BEST

I Need @ Vacation

Sometime i feel like i need a vacation. I just need a get away route. I often feeled pressured by the world, and often feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I dont know why but its just how i feel. Its ofter hard for me to go thru a day without being down but i fight hard not to show emotions so i wear my heart on my sleeve like its the neeh w fashion. I wish i could get away to a land where everyone is cool and is full of peace. I often dream of going to the bahamas for vacation i think that would be so nice. To walk on the beach with a gorgeous woman and talk as the sun sets. That makes me wonder how good life could be? Do you need a vacation?

CRY!

Sometime i feel like my best just aint good enough for some people, and knowing that pierces a scar on my heart. I say this cuz i try so hard not to let anyone down and live my life the best way i can but some take that for granted along with me. I usually feel like the world weighs all its burdens upon me. The only reason i am still standing here is because i have a strong background, so still i stand but even thru that i have to cry sometimes cuz crying is like taking your soul to the cleaners to have a the tears fixed and stains removed. But even with that my best is still not good enough for some. I am not ashamed to admit that i cry in some struggles because cuz it sets me at ease to let some emotions out. But to those who cant accept my best i have to move and always remember that you never miss what you had til its gone..... And that you will never be the same without me!

Quincy Vs. DeQuincy

Have you ever felt like there were two sides to you? I often feel like its a battle raging on the inside of me, trying to see who do i expose in certain moments and who do i show most of the time.... See Quincy is the wild side of me Quincy is more outgoing, hard, people person, who is not afraid of anything. While DeQuincy is more of the melancholy, mellow, soft spoken humble, less outgoing person.... I often feel like they are at war with each other instead of working together.... I mean DeQuincy is a side that most dont see cuz when people see your soft side they usually use that as a weakness... And attack but i need both cuz they keep me settle and stable... I love the two cuz they help me to be versatile. So when i ask Quincy Vs. DeQuincy i always want to have both.

W#@t M0$t M!6Ht n0t Kn0w @b0uT M3!!

Are there things that are unique about you that most might not know about you? Well, there maybe alot of things alot dont know about me.. As most people have noticed i am very different from others. I am very unique, outgoing, class clown, and somewhat athletic, but what do you not know about me? Well for one im somewhat emotional but try to hide it in public. I have always been that way, and i believe im that way cuz im so straight forward and honest with them and so willing to offer a helping hand but when im in need of help the aren't many to be found.... Im kinda Like a big teddy bear i love to make people happy and make them feel secure and protected, because when people im around are happy im happy... Another thing most dont know is that im willing to try everything at least thats why i have tried every sport i have ever had a chance to do. But the best experimental sport that i tried was tennis it was fun and i enjoyed it. I have the record for most wins by a black person in school history with two. There are more things that you may not know but not enough time to discuss

W#@t M0$t M!6Ht n0t Kn0w @b0uT

M! L!f3

I wake up everyday thanking God, because sometime i feel like he has blessed me in so many ways. I often feel like im not suppose to be here and i dont know why i feel that way, maybe because i live my life on the edge... Sometimes i just sit back and think bout what God has done for me and cant help but to cry reminiscing on the struggles and strife in my past...., but im here and I am standing strong. I feel that nothing can break me now I have come so far.... I use to ask myself did God bring me this far only to drop me off here, but now i know better God got me here living cuz he has something in store for me. I dont know what i would do without the "Big Man" up above. I could have been on the streets or locked up in jail but here i am in college having the best time of my life and making it better as the days progress, and for that I have to drop to my knees and Thank him... I often feel like Jesus is my homeboy and if thats how i got to feel to keep pushing thru life imma keep it that way....

-Quincy aka Big country